New Year, New You!

Resolutions Fade, Systems Stay

Somehow we all assume that when the clock strikes midnight and our calendar flips to January 1st, it’s “New year, New you!”-  But here we are, 14 days in, and reality is looking different. Muscles ache from overzealous workouts, cheat meals have sneaked back into the routine, and it’s that last batch of salad greens. 

And yet, this cycle is all too familiar. The grand declarations of change, followed by the creeping realization that we’re repeating the same patterns as last year—and the year before that.

So, here is the truth about change

Let me be honest. Yes! Change is the only constant in our life, but this change does not happen overnight. When we want to change something about ourselves we need to be willing to be patient. As a therapist, I often see that one of the biggest mistakes we make is setting ourselves up for failure with lofty, unrealistic goals, expecting perfection from day one and when we falter we become too hard on ourselves and sometimes we could also just give up on the whole goal feeling like it would be too hard for us to reach. 

So, I want to be honest here, you will falter! You will have those setbacks. And that’s okay. The key to change isn’t always a flawless streak of progress but it’s constantly learning how to realign, reset and move forward. 

Build a system and not just a goal:

Here is something that can help you go beyond your goals, BUILD A SYSTEM. Goals are great, but these goals need to have small actionable steps to become a reality. You need to know what you need to do. Now, don’t crowd the calendar with all the tasks everyday.

When Creating Systems, Here’s what I Learned the Hard Way

When I first started building systems to improve my life, I made one big mistake: I planned my days as if they were going to look like my ideal day—every single day.

It sounded perfect on paper: wake up at 5 AM, meditate, journal, work out for an hour, practice skincare, read, write, get 8 hours of sleep, and, of course, tackle all my other goals. I set aside an hour daily for exercise, even though I wasn’t someone who worked out at all. It felt like an actionable step.

But you can probably guess what happened next.

By Day 3, I was burned out. I hadn’t been able to keep up with the hour-long workouts, let alone everything else on my list. I felt overwhelmed, unmotivated, and frustrated. My perfectly planned system had collapsed before it even got off the ground.

Why My “Ideal Day” System Failed

The problem? I built my system based on an unrealistic version of myself. I was designing for a future me—the me who already had all these habits in place—without considering my current reality.

If you’re trying to make lasting changes, this approach simply doesn’t work. A system isn’t about perfection or doing everything at once. It’s about making consistent progress, one step at a time.

Here’s What I’ve Learned About Building Better Systems

1. Start Small: If you’ve never worked out before, don’t schedule an hour-long workout every single day. Instead, commit to something more manageable, like three workouts a week. Remember, three times a week is infinitely better than zero.

   
   

2. Be Flexible: Life isn’t predictable, and your system should reflect that. Allow for days when things don’t go as planned. A rigid system is more likely to break under pressure.

   
   

3. Focus on One or Two Habits at a Time: Instead of overwhelming yourself with an endless list of new habits, prioritize the most important ones. Once they’re firmly in place, you can layer on more.

   
   

4. Track Progress: Celebrate the small wins. Each step forward is a step closer to your larger goal, and recognizing progress keeps you motivated. I have been tracking my progress on my excel sheet, and ticking off a task gives me so much pleasure. You don’t need any apps to do this ☑️.

Learn to Realign

Now remember, life will get in the way. You will miss a workout and you may indulge in an extra slice of cake. You could slide back to the old ways. But wait, this does not mean it’s the end and you can work towards the goal you set. You can approach the situation differently. 

You could slowly get back. Remember, you can adjust the system and fit your current circumstances. You don’t have to wait for another Monday or another month or even another year to realign back to the goals. 

The Real Goal

The real goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. Taking it one step at a time and making the changes and working with ourselves. Because change does not come from simply flipping the calendar page, it comes from showing up for you. Every. Single. Day.