Stop Leading Like They Told You To: Start Leading Like You
- Cyril Prince
- May 30
- 4 min read
Updated: Aug 15
I Never Wanted to Be the Kind of Leader I Was Led By.
I was sick and tired of being manipulated. Asked to do things I wasn’t interested in. And when I said “no”, I was nudged to “stretch” and “lead”.
In review sessions, inspirational words were thrown at me—but they felt hollow. Misaligned. Sometimes even weaponised.
So I asked myself:
Why did I keep getting stuck with this kind of leadership?
What was I inviting into my career that others seemed to manage (or avoid) more skillfully?
Sure, I could bear the weight I was given.
But deep down, I knew: I never wanted to lead anyone the way I was being led.
So I began searching for a different kind of leadership.
One rooted in heart, purpose, and clarity.
One that made bold decisions—not because it was expected, but because it was right.
That journey led me to one profound realisation:
It all comes down to values.
If something feels off, that’s your signal to dig deep and discover what truly matters to you. That becomes your compass.
Common Challenges Leaders Face in Transitions
In my work as a leadership coach, I’ve seen how first-time leaders often walk into their roles with big dreams, and even bigger uncertainty.
They’re expected to manage people, lead projects, create impact, and stay afloat. But who supports them?
If their mentors hand out shortcuts—“Just manage this fire for now”—they start believing leadership is about hacks. And those hacks cost more than they save: broken trust, team burnout, poor culture.
Whether it’s a first-time leadership role, a shift to a new team, or an entirely new organisation, transition in leadership brings disruption. And if there’s no support or alignment, it affects everyone in the system.
Why Executive Coaching Is the Alternative
Hire a coach.
But not just any coach. A trained executive coach or leadership development expert. Someone who doesn’t rush to give advice, but helps you ask the right questions—about yourself, your vision, and how you lead.
A great coach provides clarity, structure, and perspective.
They hold space for you to explore (and expand into) the leader you’re meant to become.
My Leadership Coaching Philosophy
My approach is rooted in self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and deep alignment with personal values.
I work with each client to understand their core beliefs, leadership identity, and the unconscious patterns that shape their decisions. From there, we integrate tools and simulations to help them grow in real-world scenarios.
Because leadership development isn't about adding fluff. It’s about removing noise and sharpening your inner compass.
Confidence Isn’t a Trait—It’s a Muscle
One of the most powerful practices I use in leadership coaching is future visioning.
I guide clients to vividly imagine the kind of leader they want to be. The clearer the vision, the stronger the emotional motivation. Then we create affirmations and rituals that energise action and consistency.
Depending on the client’s needs, we integrate:
Vision-setting exercises
Journaling and reflective prompts
Mindfulness and focus practices
Leadership assessments and SWOT analysis
Productivity frameworks like time-blocking
Whatever the path, two things are non-negotiable:
We celebrate small wins and we learn from setbacks.
A Real Leadership Transformation Story
One of the most profound transformations I’ve witnessed was with a senior executive in a Fortune 500 company.
He was dedicated. Brilliant. Available for 14-16 hours a day. A workhorse who put everyone before himself.
And then when time came for his promotion, he was pushed over by imbecilic politics, and left under the thumb of less capable leaders.
His spirit was crushed. His self-belief plummeted.
But he chose not to disappear. He chose to reclaim his story. And thus began his journey of reassertion.
Together, we worked on reframing his inner narrative, clarifying his value, and speaking his truth in high-stakes environments. He began showing up not just as a performer, but as a leader with presence. He moved from being subservient to displaying bold self-leadership.
He learnt when to stand his ground, when to communicate wins, when to protect his peace, and how to never lose himself again in the system.
Leadership Transformation Takes Time
Personal leadership transformation doesn’t happen in a weekend. It’s not a motivational video or a feel-good checklist.
It’s deep, honest work.
It’s uncomfortable at times.
But it’s powerful and lasting.
Every leader I’ve worked with has found their own success formula - ****a personalised mix of mindset, tools, and habits that serve them in every sphere of life.
Results I’ve seen:
Renewed self-confidence
Clearer boundaries
Greater leadership presence
Alignment between personal and professional values
Because leadership isn’t just what you do.
It’s who you are.
At Elevate Mind, we don’t just dump leadership knowledge on to people. We understand that instilling leadership as a way of being takes time, patience, dealing with resistance - rather than relying on underhand gimmicks and makeshift techniques (many of which are easily accessible on the internet).
Start Your Leadership Journey Today
If you—or someone you know—is stuck in a leadership role, navigating a difficult transition, or simply craving more clarity and confidence…
It’s not a miracle fix. It’s not a promise of overnight change.
It’s a launchpad.
A place to pause. Reflect. And reset the way you lead—from within.
